Potty training pt 2

Well, I got the boy potty trained w/ #1 in 3 days, #2 took about 3 wks and we still have a few mishaps and he is 23months.  All I did was keep him in underwear and after some incidents he was going consistently on the 3rd day w/ no issues since.  It's great...so much cheaper!  However, as I said I learned w/ my youngest girl...if they have a pull-up on they will go in them.  This is behaviorism 101 my friends, it is a fact....the strongest reinforcer is the most IMMEDIATE.  If your child can comfortably go in a pull-up or diaper, they will, for as along as they can.  Why?  It's easiest...they can experience relief w/out having to stop what they are doing.  W/out the pull-up or diaper...the immediate experience is very unpleasant, they are now in a mess and everyone knows it.  Kids are very smart!  Seriously, I hate having to stop while in the middle of something to go to the bathroom!  I hold it for as long as I can tolerate it.  For whatever reason my kids and many others that I know of...the kids do not want to go #2 in the toilet.  They seem scare, anxious...who knows....they hold it for as long as they can.  Just be patient and keep encouraging them.  You have to remember to make a huge deal when they do go on the toilet and offer immediate rewards, until they get the behavior under control, then offer random immediate rewards and eventually fade away the rewards.  Always give verbal praise!.  If my son has an accident I tell him that is Not ok, he is supposed to go in the potty, I even tell him that I am not happy that he went in his underwear.  When, he goes on the potty I yell "yeah!" I clap my hands, I tell him he is a good boy for using the potty and that I am very happy that he used the potty and I get a chocolate for him, which now is reserved only for going #2 (since there is still some hesitation there). 

Kids want to make us happy, let them know how they can make you happy!  We all function quickly, positively and most effectively on a reward system.  So, rather than focus on poor behaviors...Catch then being Good and praise them, let them know what makes you happy.  We must still explain misbehavior, why it's bad & what they should do next time, as well as, provide time outs, as necessary. I am very vocal about my feelings with my kids.  When my daughter was 3 she began telling people that, "frustration can lead to anger" b/c I would tell her, "I am getting frustrated w/ your behavior and if you don't stop, I will get angry." My 4 yr old will ask us, "Do you like it when I do this?" or "Does this make you happy?" Kids seek our attention & happiness, just as we do w/ those we love.  They always wants to do the right thing, they just can't always accomplish that task b/c their own desires are guiding them.  Even though our kids can make us feel a bit crazy at times, frustrated and angry...they are also the loves of our lives, they are the part of us that reaches into the future.  CATCH THEM BEING GOOD!!!!! every chance you get...